What if

Sometimes, I feel that I should have a breakdown in school or tuition so that I could get sympathy and then maybe the people around me could understand me being , yes I do get sad and that I'm so horrible when it happens and no I don't have it all figured out. And no I don't just sit and study 24/7. In reality, I barely study and it's so frustrating and someone assumes that I study a lot so I get good marks. Like, no bitch you don't know how bad she feels that she can't study as much as she wants to and knows that she can do.
Yeah, that. Just that for today.
P.s. I cried while writing this.